Entertainment Quantified

Sep 14, 2002 - Film

The Wedding Planner

Let me tell you the story that was overlooked in this movie. It’s the story of a little boy. This little boy fell in love with a woman at a very young age. Both of them were children. As such he did everything he could think of to impress her. To show her he was fearless he ate mud. Unfortunately, all this did was disgust the young girl. Many years later, still smitten with love for this woman, her father arranges a marriage between the two. He moves to San Francisco from Sicily. He dumped everything he had for her. Our new hero gets to the United States and is reacquainted with his long lost love, and she is more beautiful than he remembered (and for reasons other than she now has a chest). As this is an arranged marriage he assumes everything is great, and she is happy to see him, but she runs off right away. Saddened and still not sure of how to woo a woman this man does what he thinks she would like. Surprising her with a gift that he made himself, and acting all tough. This man that I speak of is none other than the character Massimo. Massimo is in love with Mary, and does everything he knows to win her affection. Alas, this proves futile. So if he can’t have her love, he decides that friendship is the best course. She agrees to friendship. He makes Mac and Cheese. Very romantic. Finally, few weeks later at a birthday celebration he decides this is the time to spring the question on her again. You see, he cannot stand just being her friend as he is so in love with her it hurts. He spends every waking moment when he is not with her building her a doll house that is just like the one she had when she was a kid. As a special touch, he places a photograph of her mom above the fireplace. He places the ring in a room in the middle of the house. He proposes, and she says yes. Life is wonderful. The great day comes. He is dressed in a brand new tux that Mary’s dad made for him (special gift I suppose since they never said that he was a tailor). They meet at City Hall to be married. Then, at the moment when someone should speak now or forever hold their peace, the FOB (Father of the Bride we assume from the beginning of the movie) says that he can’t let his daughter marry someone she isn’t in love with. Everyone at the ceremony thanks God that someone spoke up, yet the hero in my story is crushed. Mary runs off to watch a movie. The man that Mary is in love with shows up to find her. Massimo tells him he knows where she is and takes him to her. The true hero of this story is the man that loves Mary so much that he let’s her go to be with the man she loves. Then tries to move on with his life, having not learned anything. This movie has come to me highly recommended, with the disclaimer that it is an SALS™. To all of you out there that recommended this movie to me shame on you. I bet you never even gave Massimo a second though. He is just some dip that you can safely ignore. He is the true hero in this story and I drink to him now.